


(Everything I Do) I Do It For You

by MusicallyCalm (whovian4life)



Category: Dirk Gently's Holistic Detective Agency (TV 2016)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff, Getting Together, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, Prompt Fill, Valentine's Day, someone give dirk a hug, todd is a huge idiot with a heart of gold
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-16
Updated: 2020-02-16
Packaged: 2021-02-28 06:08:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22749103
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/whovian4life/pseuds/MusicallyCalm
Summary: Todd really, really hates Dirk. Except he really, really doesn’t. The more he denies it, the more obvious it becomes. Some things can’t be denied-- like why Todd cares so much about making Dirk’s Valentine’s Day absolutely perfect.
Relationships: Farah Black/Tina Tevetino, Todd Brotzman/Dirk Gently
Comments: 12
Kudos: 89
Collections: DGHDA Valentine's Mini Bang 2020





	(Everything I Do) I Do It For You

**Author's Note:**

> Written for DGHDA Valentine's Mini Bang 2020! So happy to write more for this wonderful fandom.
> 
> Loosely based on the prompt: "Todd really, really hates Dirk. Except he really, really doesn’t." Title is from the song of the same name.
> 
> Thanks to my beta friendlymultifandomdragon and my artist flightinflame! You can find them both on Tumblr under the aformentioned URLs.

It was a cold night in November. Dirk and Todd were seated at their small kitchen table, several cartons of Chinese food between them. The conversation up to that point had been quiet, with short comments and remarks from one simply being acknowledged by the other. Todd was having an impressive staring contest with his lo mein when Dirk cleared his throat.

"Todd--" His voice faltered. He took a deep breath and waited a few seconds before trying again. The words came out in a rush, almost too fast to hear. “I’m gay.”

Todd's head shot up. Suddenly, his Chinese food seemed a lot less interesting. "What?"

Dirk seemed to want to look anywhere but at Todd. Eventually, he forced himself to make eye contact. He spoke slowly, testing the waters. "I'm gay."

It was strange to see Dirk so hesitant. Todd hadn't seen him this quiet and careful since the events in Bergsberg three months ago. On the other hand, now that Dirk was looking at him, it seemed like he couldn't look away. He stared directly into Todd's eyes with a strange intensity, as if searching for something. They sat there in silence for what felt like forever. "Is that okay?" Dirk finally asked.

It took Todd a few seconds to respond. He wasn't sure why; it wasn't like there was anything confusing about it. Still, the phrase kept swirling through his mind, his thoughts racing in a way that he couldn't quite understand. He pushed the thought from his mind and redirected his focus to the present. "Okay," he said simply.

Dirk’s smile was all he needed to see.

*

After that day, life went on. Why wouldn't it? Nothing had actually changed. Still, Todd couldn't help feeling like everything was suddenly different. He knew he was the only one; Dirk still went about his day with the same quirky and wild energy. Oftentimes, he would catch Todd staring into space and ask if everything was okay. He'd respond noncommittally, and then there it was again: _Dirk is gay._

It wasn't as if Todd was offended or anything. Quite the opposite. He just couldn't figure out why the thought kept crossing his mind. For a solid week, it became a constant, a phrase that entered his thoughts without warning and left just as quickly. Eventually, it faded into the background, and Todd almost forgot about it.

Just in time for Michael to show up.

Michael came into the agency on a Wednesday. Todd only remembered this because Dirk was wearing his green jacket and socks that said "Wednesday" on the bottom. The two of them were busy doing paperwork. "Busy", of course, meant that Todd was the only one working. Dirk had managed to find an impressively old computer game from the early 2000s on the internet and had been playing it all morning.

Todd looked up as the bell above their doorway chimed and a man entered the room. He was tall and slender, with slick black hair and a smile already plastered on his face. "Hello, I'm Michael, but you can call me Mike." Michael paused, scratching the back of his neck. "I... have a case?"

Dirk's head shot up. The second he made eye contact with Michael-but-you-can-call-me-Mike, his face flushed. He stood up quickly, almost tripping over himself as he ran to greet Mike. "Great to meet you, Mike," Dirk said, shaking his hand enthusiastically.

Todd hated him instantly.

*

Mike's case was over within a few days. Nothing spectacular, just a case of mistaken identity. They settled the bill, Mike left, and Todd didn't expect to see him ever again.

So when Mike came back a week later, dressed to the nines and carrying a bouquet of roses, Todd was justifiably confused. "Mike?"

"Hello, Todd," Mike said, smiling. He was always smiling. How could one man smile that much?

"I think you have the wrong address," Todd said curtly. There was work to do, he didn't have time for this.

Mike cleared his throat. "Actually, I'm here for..." He trailed off, looking at something in the distance.

Todd looked first at Mike and then turned to see what had him so flustered. He did a double take. "Dirk?" Dirk was standing in the doorway, wearing his signature yellow jacket, but something looked... different. It almost seemed like he was glowing. The beaming smile on his face was something that Todd hadn't seen in a long time. Something twisted uncomfortably in his stomach.

"You ready to go?" Mike asked. Dirk nodded enthusiastically and began to walk towards the door. "Wait, where are you going?" Part of Todd had already connected the dots, but the rest of him was trying to deny the obvious. _It couldn't be, it wasn't..._

"Mike is taking me on a date!" Dirk said, pronouncing the words as if each was equally special. He reached Mike and, after a quick glance, laced their fingers together and squeezed his hand.

The world was moving in slow motion. Todd could vaguely hear Mike saying something about a fancy restaurant and not being out too late, but nothing made sense. He couldn't explain the feeling coursing through his entire body, a strange cocktail of anger, shock and, maybe, a bit of sadness. Why was he sad?

Before Todd could entertain the thought further, Dirk said, "Bye, Todd! See you later!" The bell above the door chimed, its peals sounding strangely mocking, and they were gone.

*

Deep down, Todd hoped it was a one time affair. That Dirk and Mike would enjoy their fancy meal but ultimately realize that whatever they were doing wasn't going to work out. It seemed like the best possible outcome. Instead, it became an almost daily affair, Dirk pulling out his entire rainbow of jackets for activities such as the movies, aquariums, skiing... the list went on. Todd wasn't sure where Mike was pulling these ideas from; every date seemed to be somewhere new. 

It was a day in early December, about three weeks in, when Amanda came to visit the agency. She called almost daily but didn't come around much, so the visit was a nice surprise. For once, the bells announced someone welcome and not a certain you-know-who.

"Oh good, you're not Mike." Todd groaned as he stood up from his chair and walked to greet Amanda. 

"Are they out?" Amanda replied. 

"Yeah, bowling. Some place I've never heard of. I don't know how he does it, I swear." Todd barely managed to keep the frustration out of his tone. "Do you want to go upstairs?"

Twenty minutes and one microwaved dinner later, the two were sitting on the couch. Amanda was lazily flipping through Netflix while Todd had a staring contest with a piece of peeling paint above the television. 

"You want a shitty romcom?" Amanda asked. "They have Love Actually."

"I'll pass," Todd replied blankly.

Amanda took a break from her scrolling to look at Todd. "Hey, look at me." All Todd did was redirect his attention to a stain on the rug. "What's up? You seem stressed out." She shifted on the couch, trying to get Todd's attention. "Oh, is this about Dirk and Mike?" 

"It's not--"

"Don't deny it, Todd. It's all you talk about. 'Mike and Dirk went here, Mike and Dirk went there, I want to punch Mike in the face--"

"I didn't say that." 

"Well, you might as well have!"

Todd finally shifted and managed to make eye contact with Amanda. "So what if I talk about Dirk and Mike a lot? Dirk's my best friend and Mike's the first boyfriend he's had, as far as I know. Of course I'm going to care about it." 

"Of course, but..." Amanda trailed off, giving him a knowing smile.

"But what?"

"You're in love with Dirk," she said matter-of-factly. 

Todd's eyebrows narrowed. "No I'm not."

"Todd, the way you look at him, the amount of time you spend talking about him on the phone, this," she vaguely gestured towards him, arms flailing wildly, "jealousy towards Mike? You're in love, Todd, and the only one who doesn't realize it is you."

Todd was sure that she would have kept listing reasons for his so-called love if he hadn't cut her off right then and there. "Just leave it, Amanda. Dirk's my friend, I'm not in love with him." 

Amanda looked reluctant to table the discussion but she complied. Her attention shifted back to the TV. "So, Love Actually?"

"No."

*

It was the middle of January when everything went to hell. 

Dirk was sitting in the office, trying to focus on paperwork. He was wearing his green jacket, dressed up and prepared for his date with Mike later that night. Everything was strangely silent; normally, Dirk's anxiety would have him talking up a storm. A phone rang and he nearly picked up the office phone before realizing that it was his own. "Hi, Mike!"

"Hey, Dirk." Mike sounded strangely distant. "I'm sorry, I have to cancel our date tonight. Something's come up."

"What--" Dirk started to reply but was cut off by the sound of Mike hanging up the phone. His face fell, his eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

Todd looked up from his work. "Dirk, what-- are you okay?" The instant that Todd made eye contact with Dirk, the latter's expression shifted from confusion to fear. His eyes widened and his breath quickened in a fashion that Todd knew all too well. "Are you having a panic attack?"

Dirk shook his head vigorously. "Something's wrong... Mike... I have to go." Before Todd could respond, Dirk stood up and ran out the front door. 

Todd didn't expect to see Dirk for the rest of the night. What he really wasn't expecting, however, was for Dirk to turn up an hour and a half later, smelling of cheap beer and clutching the doorway as he entered. 

"Dirk, what the fuck happened to you?" Todd stood up and walked towards Dirk, who didn't seem to notice him coming. He was staring at the ground, his muscles tensed as though he was ready to run. "Are you okay?"

Dirk didn't answer. His breath quickened and he looked up at Todd, who finally saw the tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to fall at any moment. They stood like that for a moment, neither of them willing to reach out to the other. Todd was the one who finally broke the silence. "Let's go upstairs, alright?" Dirk nodded quickly. Todd put his arm around Dirk's shoulder so he wouldn't keel over and the two carefully made their way up the stairs to their apartment. Along the way, Dirk began to mutter to himself, something about "Mike" and other words that Todd couldn't quite make out. The walk seemed to take forever even though the staircase was short, but they eventually got inside. 

Slowly, Todd guided them towards the couch and sat down. Dirk was staring into space, deliberately avoiding Todd's eyes. "Dirk." No response. "Dirk, look at me." It took a minute, but Dirk finally made eye contact with Todd. "What's going on?"

"Mike--" Dirk's voice caught as the first few tears spilled down his face. "Mike cheated on me." He barely got the words out before he was sobbing, clutching at Todd's shirt as if his life depended on it. Todd started a little at the sudden contact but carefully wrapped his arms around Dirk's huddled form. He tried to think of something to say, words that would make everything better, but he quickly realized that nothing would help.

"I'm sorry," he finally said, endeavoring to at least break through the gloom. 

Dirk looked up at him, his face red and slick with tears. "Just... hold me, please?"

And so he did. 

*

They didn't talk about it for a while. A case kept them busy, but even in their down time, it wasn't mentioned. Todd thought about bringing it up a few times but eventually decided to just let it be. Obviously, Dirk was hurt, but it was probably best that he didn't get involved.

"Todd?"

"Yes?" They were eating takeout again, this time from an Italian restaurant down the street that Dirk had been dying to try for months.

"I didn't really thank you, did I?"

"For what?"

"For what happened a few weeks ago." Dirk immediately looked away, his fingers tapping on the table in a continuous rhythm. "With Mike," he added belatedly. 

Todd wasn't sure what to say at first. "Of course. I know you'd do the same for me."

"I just thought I had a chance. I thought that this time I had found someone who loved me, someone who would stay. That's not too much to ask for, right?" Dirk pushed back his chair and stood up. He began to pace, muttering under his breath and staring at the ground.. "Just this once, everything was going to be fine. I was actually happy. After all the bullshit that the universe has put me through, why couldn't it let me be fucking happy?" He choked back a sob as he sat down on the couch.

Todd had been frozen in his chair, not quite sure what to do. Slowly, he stood up and walked over to where Dirk was sitting. "I'm not good with words," he admitted.

Dirk gave a small smile. "Me neither."

Todd sat down next to Dirk and put his arm around his shoulder. "Dirk, I'm here for you, whatever happens. If there's ever any way that I can help, let me know, okay?"

Dirk inched closer and leaned into Todd's chest. The contact created a strange but pleasant warmth that spread throughout Todd's body. "Thank you Todd, truly, but I'm not sure how much you can--" His sentence was cut off by the buzzing of his phone in his pocket. He pulled it out and read the notification. "It's a picture from Farah." A huge smile spread across his face. "She's at the movies with Tina!" 

Todd craned his neck to see the image just in time for the smile to leave Dirk's face. "Dirk, are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Todd. It's just..." He took a deep breath. "I'm going to be alone on Valentine's Day again. I thought I had a shot, but I guess it wasn't meant to be." 

_Valentine's Day._ The gears began to turn in Todd's mind. 

*

"Now, why exactly did you want us to meet you here?" Farah asked.

Before Todd could answer, Tina came back to the table with three cups. "Alright, a macchiato for Todd, an iced coffee for Farah, and one doubleshot espresso for me!" 

"Tina, are you sure you need all that caffeine?" Farah shook her head. "Whatever, it doesn't matter. Why are we at a coffee shop? Is this about a case? Where's Dirk?" 

"Dirk doesn't like coffee." Tina mumbled as she took a sip. 

"Exactly. This isn't about a case-- well, not exactly," Todd said. "I needed to make sure that Dirk didn't insist on coming."

"Todd, stop being cryptic." Farah gave him the look™, something he had become very familiar with during their time on the run. "Spit it out."

"Okay, so you know how Dirk's ex-boyfriend cheated on him?"

"The little bastard," Tina muttered.

"Yeah. Anyway, he's had all this crap thrown at him because of the universe and everything being connected, we know all that shit. So, Valentine's Day is coming up and Dirk was expecting to have plans. Of course, that isn't happening--"

"Todd, where is this--" Farah interjected.

"--but," Todd continued, "I have a plan." His smile was huge, stretching so wide that it almost seemed manic. 

"Ooh, what kind of a plan?" Tina said, leaning closer.

"Yeah, Todd, what kind of a plan?" Farah asked warily.

"We're going to give Dirk the best Valentine's Day ever. I'll take him out to dinner, and then when we get home, you guys will have the apartment set up for a surprise party! I'm talking about decorations, snacks, music-- Tina, I know you have that playlist that Dirk likes." Tina nodded vigorously.

"Todd, what are you--"

"Also, Disney movies, Dirk loves Disney. We have to go all out. This needs to be the greatest party ever, Dirk needs to know how much we love him. I don't think I've seen him smile in weeks, and that just doesn't feel right, you know what I'm saying?"

"No, Todd, I don't," Farah sighed heavily, putting her head in her hands as she took a slow, deep breath, "but we'll help."

"Really?" 

"Yeah, of course!" Tina exclaimed. "Anything for Dirk."

"Great!" Somehow, the smile got even larger than before. "We can start--"

"Todd," Farah said firmly, "listen to me. We'll throw Dirk a party, sure, but it doesn't have to be crazy. I mean, it's just Valentine's Day. Tina and I were just going to stay in and watch a movie. We didn't plan anything huge. Besides, it's just Dirk, he'll love anything we do."

"But that's the point! It's just Valentine's Day, it's _just Dirk._ It has to be perfect."

Farah sighed in resignation. "Fine. Where do we start?" Todd immediately pulled out a hastily scribbled list from his coat pocket. She rolled her eyes. "Great."

*

_Dirk's Best Valentine's Ever_

  1. _Dinner reservations (there's another Italian place Dirk talked about. A little fancy but it should be fine.)_



It didn't take long to figure out where they should have dinner. Dirk had talked about visiting this upscale Italian restaurant for dinner for months now, ever since they solved a case involving the owner's son. It was the only plausible way that they could get dinner reservations so close to Valentine's Day.

"Hello, can I speak to Don?"

"Who is this?"

"It's Todd, I worked with Dirk on his case?"

There was the sound of shuffling before a new voice entered the call. "Todd! How are you?"

"Hey, Don, I'm okay. Listen, is there any way I can get a reservation for Valentine's Day? I know it's very last minute--"

"No problem! Anything for you and Dirk. I'll find a table for you, no problem."

Todd breathed a sigh of relief. "Thank you so much, Don."

"Absolutely. Hey, I'm so glad you and Dirk are finally happy together. Is this your first Valentine's Day as a couple?"

Todd shook his head, realizing a second later that Don couldn't see him. "We're not a couple."

"Okay, sure, first date. I get it."

"Don--"

"See you in two weeks!" Todd's phone beeped as the call disconnected. 

"Todd? Who were you talking to?" Todd turned to see Dirk sitting at the kitchen island eating a bowl of leftover soup from the night before. He hadn't even seen him come in.

"Oh, just Don." Todd went to the fridge and pulled out the ingredients to start making his own lunch. 

Dirk's eyes lit up. "A new case?"

"No, just... don't worry about it, okay? It's nothing." 

He hated lying to Dirk. The way that the light faded from Dirk's eyes made his stomach sink. It's all for a good reason, it's all for a good reason…

"Okay," Dirk said quickly. He stared at Todd for a second before getting back to his soup.

  1. _Decorations. There's a party supply store that's a short bus ride away. Streamers, balloons... anything._



"Hey, Dirk. Sorry, I can't really talk right now, I'm out doing... stuff with Tina. I'll be back later, okay? Bye."

"Hey, Todd, what color do you want the balloons to be?" Tina called from the next aisle over.

"Red. It's traditional,

and I know Dirk likes the color." Todd called, grabbing a banner with "Happy Valentine's Day!" plastered on it in bright pink letters and adding it to their cart. 

"Dirk likes every color. Have you seen the man's jackets?"

Todd sighed heavily. "Just get red, okay?"

"Okay." Tina came around the corner with several packs of balloons, some red and some multicolored.

"Tina!"

"Todd, look. Dirk is not going to care about the color of his balloons. He's not going to come in, get surprised by your masterpiece, and then turn around and say 'No, sorry, I hate orange.'" She placed the packs in the cart. "Hey, don't worry, everything's going to be fine. He's going to love it, I promise."

"Are you sure?"

Tina rolled her eyes affectionately. "Yes, I'm sure. Now come look at these hanging heart strings."

  1. _Movies. No shopping needed for this one._



"Okay, so it has to be a Disney movie." Amanda was pacing back and forth, practically wearing a hole in the carpet. "Are you sure?"

"Of course," Todd said from the couch. "They're Dirk's favorites." 

"Look, we've been talking about this for twenty minutes," Farah said, sitting down next to Todd. "We need to make a decision."

"What about Tangled?" Amanda suggested.

"I was actually thinking about Frozen."

Todd stared at Farah incredulously. "Really? You want to bring that back? After we watched it for the first time, Dirk wouldn't stop singing Let it Go. I heard it everywhere-- around the house, in public... hell, he even taught it to a bunch of aliens. I don't know if I can stand that again."

"What about Moana?" Tina said, climbing through the window. She slipped on her way in and hit the ground hard.

Dirk ran through the front door. "What was that?" His eyes landed on Tina. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah," Tina mumbled, her face still smushed into the carpet. "Ow." Todd and Dirk both rushed over to help her stand. "Hey, thanks guys."

"Why didn't you just go through the door? Don't you have a key?" Farah asked. 

Tina shrugged. "More fun this way."

"It's on the second floor, how did you even..." Farah shook her head. "Whatever, it's fine."

"Hey, Dirk!" Amanda said. Todd turned so Dirk couldn't see and shook his head rapidly, but Amanda pressed on. "What's your favorite Disney movie?"

Dirk thought about it for a few seconds. "I'm not sure. I mean, I really like all of them."

"Yeah, but if you had to pick one." Todd buried his face in his hands. "Imagine you had to watch a Disney movie right now, which one would you pick?"

"Oh, Frozen, definitely."

Todd threw up his hands. "That's it, I'm done. Nice to see you again, Tina." 

Dirk ran around the couch and intercepted him before he reached his room. "Todd, what's going on? I don't understand, are you mad?"

Todd shook his head, unable to look Dirk in the eye. "I just... need a nap. See you later." Ignoring Dirk's stuttering protests, he walked into his room and slammed the door.

The rest of the friends stood there for a second in silence, no one moving. Tina was the one who eventually spoke up. "So, Frozen! Nice choice."

  1. _Music. Talk to Tina._



"Todd, my dude, my guy, allow me to introduce you to the wonders of the Top 40 Pop Charts." Tina pressed play on her phone and electronic beats began to boom through the speakers. "I know you're not a big fan of this stuff. Trust me, it's not really my thing either, but Dirk loves it. You're going to want a lot of this."

As if summoned by magic, Dirk came in the front door. "I love this song! Tina, I didn't know you liked this!" 

"Well--"

"Anyway, you're going to have to turn it down a bit. We have a client downstairs who says he can actually talk to trees. I think he's an actual forest nymph, Todd, honestly!"

"Sounds great," Todd muttered distractedly.

"I'm sorry, you're not excited about the forest nymph?" Dirk asked incredulously, sitting down at the dining table. "He says there's a secret conspiracy--"

"He's probably just crazy!" Todd shouted. "I don't know why the universe decided to drop him on our doorstep, but there has to be a mistake. There's no way that he can talk to trees, Dirk, I'm sorry."

Dirk looked like he'd been slapped in the face. He closed his eyes and took a breath. Todd saw the glimmer of unshed tears as he stared at him. "Well, obviously there was a reason, Todd, you know that the universe doesn't make mistakes. Sometimes it doesn't make sense, but it's all real. You know that it's real." He took another deep breath before he spoke, seeming to choose his words carefully. “Is…. something wrong? Did I offend you somehow? I just need to know that you’re okay.”

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Todd walked over to sit next to Dirk. “I’m sorry, I’m just… planning something special and it has to be perfect, so I’m a little busy right now. Could you just interview the tree guy by yourself? We can talk about it later.”

“I…” Dirk stopped as a few tears rolled down his face. “Okay. I’m sorry for interrupting.” He stood up and walked towards the door. “See you later, Todd.” He whispered the words so quietly that Todd barely heard them before he was gone.

  1. _Cake. Dirk loves chocolate. Store bought or homemade?_



In their defense, they had at least _tried_ to make a cake. 

At first, Todd had it in his head that only homemade would do. Him and Amanda had looked up a recipe online and thought everything would be fine. Somehow, they still managed to put in too little of this or too much of that. One time, Amanda accidentally put salt in instead of sugar. The saga ended when Farah came up from downstairs and found them covered in batter after the mixer went haywire. As she took in the sight (two messy, fully grown adults and four lumpy looking cakes on the counter), she shook her head. “Get yourselves cleaned up. We’re going to buy a cake.” Luckily, there was a bakery down the street, so as soon as they changed their clothes, they headed over. 

“What kind does he like again?” Amanda asked, squinting at the displays.

“Chocolate,” Todd answered.

Farah nodded and relayed the information to the cashier. “It needs to say ‘Happy Valentine’s Day,’” she added. 

Todd’s phone began to ring just as Amanda tried to draw his attention to a delicious looking pastry. “Just a second.” He checked the caller ID: Dirk. “Hello?”

“Where did you guys go? Weren't we going to watch a movie after I came back from working the case?”

“Oh, uh… sorry, we went out. We'll be back soon.”

Todd could practically hear Dirk frowning through the phone. “I thought you weren't feeling well.”

Mentally, Todd slapped himself. He'd forgotten about the half-assed excuse he'd come up with Dirk asked why he was staying home. “I'm feeling better. Must have been something I ate.”

“What's wrong with my stir fry? I didn't burn it this time and I definitely cooked the chicken enough.” _Crap._ “Todd, what's going on? Why are you lying to me?”

In a panic, Todd pressed the button to end the call. As soon as he realized what he'd done, he buried his face in his hands.

“Hey, dude, are you okay?” Amanda asked. “Are you having an attack? Do we need to leave?”

Todd gave a small smile. “Thanks, but I'll be fine.” _No, you've ruined everything, no no no…_

“We can pick up the cake tomorrow at 3,” Farah said, rejoining the group. Quickly, she noticed the panicked expression on Todd's face. “Todd, what's wrong?”

Todd took a shaky breath. “Just worried about the party.” He took a second to get his breathing under control. “Could we just... take a walk? Please?” It was best to avoid the inevitable for as long as possible. Besides, it gave him time to figure out what to say to Dirk.

As it turned out, that was nothing at all.

*

Todd woke up on Valentine's Day and immediately downed two cups of coffee. He hadn't slept much the night before, his mind racing with thoughts about reservations and places to go and tiny details. 

As he made breakfast, he noticed the serious lack of Dirk's presence in his morning routine. He usually woke up long before Todd, making tea and indulging in the morning news. "Dirk?" he called. No answer. He walked over to Dirk's bedroom door and opened it, finding his bed neatly made. The detective himself was nowhere in sight.

Todd forced himself to breathe. _This is fine, nothing's going to go wrong, not now._ He took his phone out of his pocket and dialed Dirk’s number. 

_“Hello, this is Dirk Gently from Dirk Gently’s Holistic--”_

Todd swore. Dirk always answered his phone. The last time he had heard that voice mail was…

“No. Dirk’s fine. There's no way he's back in Blackwing, right?” Todd began to pace. _This is fine, this is fine, this is…_

His thoughts were cut off by the buzzing of his phone. He answered the call quickly, not seeing who was on the other end. “Dirk, where are you?”

“Not Dirk,” Farah answered. “Just wanted to tell you that we'll be over around 4 with the cake and decorations. You and Dirk will be at the restaurant by then, right?”

“I sure hope so. I can't find him anywhere.” Just then, his phone buzzed with a text. He pulled the phone away from his ear to check. _Dirk_. “I'll call you back, okay?”

Farah sighed. “Fine, just remember to leave the door unlocked.”

“But you have a key--” Todd groaned as the call disconnected, but his frustration was short-lived as he checked the message.

_Out. Sorry._

It was much more concise than the paragraphs Dirk usually sent him, but Todd didn't mind. _Meet me at Don's restaurant at 4? We have a reservation._

It was at least a minute before Dirk responded. _OK._

*

Todd was standing in front of the restaurant, fidgeting with the collar of the suit he'd forced himself to wear. He checked the time: 4:00. _He should be here by now, something’s wrong…_

“Hello, Todd.” He looked up to see Dirk standing there, hands in his pockets and looking… irritated? The expression flitted across his face for a brief second before being replaced by a sadness that Todd had seen too many times before. He was wearing his favorite yellow jacket and a tie with lemons adorning the fabric. “Um, hello?”

Todd hadn't realized he was staring. “Oh, sorry. Shall we?”

The meal was spent in near silence, the two of them only speaking to each other when warranted. Meanwhile, Todd could see the internal struggle dancing across Dirk’s face. He shifted from sadness to anger and back again every few minutes. It was terrifying. Dirk was rarely mad, but Todd sensed that something had set him off. He wanted to bring it up, to ask what he could do, but for a while, it felt like there was this self-enforced distance that he didn’t dare to cross.

After he paid for the meal, Todd sensed an opening. “Dirk, are you--”

“Enough, Todd.” Dirk’s tone was firm and final, with a coldness that Todd wasn’t expecting. 

“Enough what?”

“Be honest. I know what you’re doing.”

“What am I doing? Why are you mad?” Todd wracked his brain, trying to make sense of everything, but the weight of his failure was dragging him down.

“I’m not mad.” All the power left Dirk’s voice like air being let out of a balloon. “Just tell me why you’re leaving.”

Todd felt like he’d been punched in the gut. “What do you mean? I’m not--”

“You’ve been avoiding me for the past few weeks, and every time we talk you’re either lying or shouting. I can’t do this anymore, Todd.” Dirk’s voice broke. “I can’t take it. You’re going to leave, just like everyone else.”

How had he screwed up this bad? He’d tried to make everything perfect and had broken everything in the process. What was he supposed to do now? Before he could form a response, tears began to fall down Dirk’s face in multitudes and he nearly crumpled, his body wracking with silent sobs. For a second, Todd sat frozen and horrified by what he had done. Then, he realized what he had to do.

“Dirk, I’m not leaving. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you the truth, I guess I’m just really shitty at keeping secrets.” It wasn’t his most eloquent statement, but it would have to do.

Dirk looked up at Todd, his face stained with tears. “What do you mean by secrets?”

“I’ve been planning a special day just for you. Dinner’s just the beginning. There’s a party waiting for you back at the apartment. I…” Todd chose his next words carefully. “I wanted to give you the Valentine’s Day that you deserve.”

Todd wasn’t sure what he had expected his reaction to be, but the moment that Dirk smiled, it was like the sun beaming through the clouds after a rainstorm. Dirk’s grin stretched from ear to ear and his eyes, which up to that point had lacked their usual luster, sparkled a radiant blue. “You mean it?”

“Yeah.” Something was wrong. Todd’s heart was beating out of control and his stomach was turning in ways that it definitely should not be after the meal they had. “I… uh… I’ll be right back.” Todd all but sprinted to the bathroom, darted to the nearest stall, and sat down, struggling to catch his breath. 

It didn’t make sense. Dirk knew about the surprise, he was happy, mission accomplished. So why was he still nervous? It was just Dirk, after all.

Just. Dirk.

Suddenly, it all made sense. The jealousy over Mike, the obsession over making the party perfect, the way Dirk’s smile made his heart race… he was in love. With Dirk.

_Holy shit._

“Todd, are you alright in there?” Dirk asked, knocking on the stall door. 

He startled, taking a deep breath before managing a hesitant “Yeah…” Quickly, he washed his hands and met Dirk by their table. “Are you ready to go?”

Dirk’s smile seemed to get wider. “Yeah.” He looked at Todd, concern flashing across his face. “Are you alright, Todd?”

His heart hadn’t quite calmed down and his thoughts were still racing, but he managed to shove them down long enough to sound coherent. “Yeah, let’s go.”

The walk home was silent, but it was different than before. The silence from dinner and the past few weeks had been full of tension. This was full of… something else. It was almost like electricity, if the spark Todd felt whenever Dirk’s hand accidentally brushed his was anything to go by. How the hell had he not noticed it before?

After what felt like forever, they made it back to the agency. As they climbed the stairs to the apartment, Todd’s pulse reached a new high. This was it. It had all led to this moment when Dirk opened the door and…

“Surprise!”

Todd took in the apartment. Balloons were everywhere, streamers lined the walls, and the big ‘Valentine’s Day’ banner was displayed proudly. The chocolate cake sat on the kitchen table, and peppy electronic music blasted through the speakers. He turned to look at the television and, sure enough, Frozen was queued up, ready to play. He breathed a sigh of relief. _Perfect_.

While he was looking around, he heard a quiet voice say, “Todd?” He turned to see Dirk staring at him, looking shocked. “I… this… oh, fuck it.” And all of a sudden, Dirk was kissing him.

It was nothing he had ever felt before. Sure, he had shared plenty of kisses in the past, but none like this. Dirk kissed him like it was a necessity, full and insistent, but also like it was a treasure, slow and passionate. He hadn’t even known that he wanted this, but now he wasn’t sure if he could ever live without it again. Eventually, Dirk pulled away and the two of them just stood there for a moment, taking in each other and the moment they had just shared.

“Well, it’s about time!” The spell was broken by Amanda’s excited shout from the couch. 

“Yeah, Todd, I didn’t think you were actually going to grow a pair,” Tina quipped. 

Farah simply laughed. “Congratulations, you two.”

Dirk looked at Todd, a fond smile spreading across his face. “Thank you,” he whispered.

Todd returned the smile. “I love you,” he whispered back. 

“Hate to break up a heartfelt moment here,” Tina interjected, “but this cake isn’t going to eat itself. Let’s have a party!”

“Okay,” Dirk said, his eyes only on Todd. “Let’s go.”

“Let’s go.”

*

Todd really, really hated Dirk. At least, that’s what he had thought at first. He couldn’t stand being around him and was going to drop him like a hot potato the first chance he got. He had no future and was going to die alone after the whole assistant business was over. He couldn’t imagine having any semblance of domestic bliss with the bumbling detective. He hated how perfect he seemed, how much joy he brought into the world…

Todd really really hated Dirk. Except he really, really didn’t. And as he sat down to watch Frozen, Dirk snuggled close to his chest, he realized that maybe his future had been right next to him all along.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> You can find me on Tumblr at luckylittlepotato (main) and bitinatevetino (DGHDA side blog).
> 
> Kudos and comments are always appreciated!


End file.
